Sadness via Goodbyes

I always dislike the day of goodbyes. I dislike our see you soon’s. I become irritable because I know our time is coming to an end. So much so that I nearly ruin our last day with my pouty face and grumblings about the flea market being so empty. When I’m really not mad about the flea market but that I wanted today to be perfect. I want him to remember a fun day before he leaves me.

Time passes by too quickly and I struggle to live in the moment. “He’s leaving today!” I tell myself. “I wonder if he’s had fun during his stay? Did I make him feel happy enough?” I worry about many things. I worry that although I’ve kissed him quite a bit that I didn’t kiss him as much as I had wanted to. I try so hard to spend time as much time with him as possible that I end up getting home late and not even noticing.

We say goodbye and as usual pretend that I’m going to just steal him “Don’t go back! I’ll let you live in my room and I’ll buy you all the food you want!” But we both know that’s not possible and he chuckles and hugs me one more time before leaving. After that I go inside my own home and sit in my bed for a bit feeling sad. I post the last picture I have of us on the old web and just stare at my phone not thinking much except that I feel sad.

I end up going to sleep thinking about how I won’t see him for a few months. I wake up feeling extremely empty.

Till next time, when my sunshine comes back.

-The Broke Artist